Barack's Father's Day comments

Barack Obama gave a speech on father's day talking about family as a foundation of our society, and the importance of fathers within that foundation. He talked about it weakens our society that there are so many fathers missing from their children's lives.

I looked at his speech and thought about how I can (and do) incorporate into my own parenting the things he identifies as necessary to strengthen our families. In my role as sometimes both the mother and father, I take these words in as my responsibility as much as or even moreso than the responsibility of my children's father.

"It’s up to us – as fathers and parents – to instill this ethic of excellence in our children. It’s up to us to say to our daughters, don’t ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for those goals. It’s up to us to tell our sons, those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in my house we live glory to achievement, self respect, and hard work. It’s up to us to set these high expectations. And that means meeting those expectations ourselves. That means setting examples of excellence in our own lives.

The second thing we need to do as fathers is pass along the value of empathy to our children. Not sympathy, but empathy – the ability to stand in somebody else’s shoes; to look at the world through their eyes. Sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in “us,” that we forget about our obligations to one another. There’s a culture in our society that says remembering these obligations is somehow soft – that we can’t show weakness, and so therefore we can’t show kindness.

But our young boys and girls see that. They see when you are ignoring or mistreating your wife. They see when you are inconsiderate at home; or when you are distant; or when you are thinking only of yourself. And so it’s no surprise when we see that behavior in our schools or on our streets. That’s why we pass on the values of empathy and kindness to our children by living them. We need to show our kids that you’re not strong by putting other people down – you’re strong by lifting them up. That’s our responsibility as fathers."

And as mothers and teachers and grandparents and any adults in the lives of children. I will strive to make this a reality in my family. You can see/hear the speech in its entirety, here.